Beetlejuice - The Whole Being Dead Thing Chords & Tabs

by Misc Musicals

[Version Description]
This is based off of the album not a live performance.

[BETELGEUSE, sung]
F#                              
Hey, folks! Begging your pardon!
D                           
‘Scuse me! Sorry to barge in
B                                           A  
Now let’s skip the tears and start on the whole
      G#
Y’know
Being dead thing
F#m                             
You’re doomed! Enjoy the singing
D                                
The sword of Damocles is swinging
B                                    
And if I hear your cell-phone ringing
      A             
I’ll kill you myself
     G#m                   
The whole being dead thing!
Bm                             
Death can get a person stressed
     F#                               
“We should have carpe’d way more diems
Now we’re never gonna see ‘em!"
G#m                           
I can show you what comes next
                   C#
So don’t be freaked
                  D
Stay in your seats
I do this bullshit, like, eight times a week!
C#                           
So just relax, you’ll be fine
Drink your fifty-dollar wine
And take a breath!

[ENSEMBLE]
Welcome to a show about death!

[BETELGEUSE]
F#     
You’re…
                 E   
You’re gonna be fine…
        B         
On the other side…
F#                                              
DIE! YOU’RE ALL GONNA DIE! YOU’RE ALL GONNA DIE!
F#     
I'll...
              E      
I’ll be your guide...
       B          
To the other side…

[ENSEMBLE]
D                                C#              
Oh, and full disclosure: It’s a show about death!

[BETELGEUSE]
Gm                         
Everybody gets on fine here
     D#                                 
Like Rodgers, Hart, and Hammerstein here
C                                    
The women’s bathroom has no line here
Just...
N.C.
Pee where you want!
    A                      
The whole being dead thing!
Gm                                   
You’re just gonna love the folks here
D#                                                     
Yeah, I know you’re woke, but you can take a joke here!
     C                                       
And every show I do, like, a TON of coke here
The whole-

[heavy sniffing]
PAH-HAH! The whole being dead thing!
Cm                     
Nobody is bullet-proof!
G                         
“I work out, I eat clean!”
Gm              F        
Jesus, pass the Dramamine
Cm                            
Time to face the brutal truth:
       Dm                    
‘Cause we’re all on a hitlist
Might not live ‘till Christmas
Choke to death on Triscuits
Hey, that’s just statistics
    D#                     
So take a little break here
G#m                   
Kinda like a wake here
     D#m                
The scenery is fake here
      D#            D#m        
But there's a giant snake here!
|Gm| |Gm| |Gm| |A#m| |C#|

[ENSEMBLE]
D#                            
Welcome to a show about death!

[BETELGEUSE]
G      
You’re…
                 G7  
You’re gonna be fine…
THANK YOU!
        D         
On the other side…
HOW YOU DOIN’?
C              
Woah! Not good!
  G            F               
Ba-be-ba-ba-be-bo-boo-bap-boop!
Fm   
I’ll…
        D#m        
I’ll be your guide!
             A# C 
To the other side!
N.C.
Seriously, though, this is a show about-

[ENSEMBLE]
A#m                                        Fm
Death is taboo, but it’s hardly something new
                 A#m                        
There’s nothing medical professionals can do
       F          Fm     
'Cept maybe just bill you

[BETELGEUSE, spoken]
If you die while listening to this album
                             FD#
It's still gonna keep playing

[ENSEMBLE]
            A#m           
There’s no destiny or fate
       Fm             
Just a terrifying wait
            A#m                 
Filled with people that you hate
             D#                       C       
And on a certain date, the universe kills you!

[BETELGEUSE]
N.C.
That’s the thing with life:
                      A#  
No-one makes it out alive!
C              D      Cm 
Toss that body in the pit
 G                                  
“Gosh, it’s awful, ain’t it tragic?”
                      F         
“Blah, blah, Bible Jesus magic.”
Cm                                 
When you’re dead, who gives a shit?
Gm                       
No pilates, no more yoga!
“Namaste”, you freakin’ posers
Cm                          
From the cradle to cremation
A#                                     
Death just needs a little conversation!
D                                   
I have mastered the art (Dies Irae!)
                   D#   D               
Of tearing convention apart (Dies Irae!)
     D                                        
So, how about we all make a start (Dies Irae!)
        G#   D      G         
On the whole being dead thing!

[ALL]
D                                               G
God, I hope you’re ready for a show about death!